The kids and I are at a workshop for kids who witness domestic violence. It is kinda hard to be here, very emotional, but I know we all need it. I discovered that my biggest issues are guilt and shame.
I am guilty for staying in the violent, abusive marriage for as long as I did. 11 years is too long. I feel like I am the one who damaged my kids by staying in it for so long. I was told last week by my Social Worker that I just need to forgive myself, but I just can't do that. I can't erase the blame I have inside for staying and exposing my kids to hitting, name calling, and way too many other types of abuse and belittling to mention. When my kids act up, the voice in my head says, "I wrecked my kids."
I can't move forward until I work through the guilt, shame and blame... It's tough.
I am guilty for staying in the violent, abusive marriage for as long as I did. 11 years is too long. I feel like I am the one who damaged my kids by staying in it for so long. I was told last week by my Social Worker that I just need to forgive myself, but I just can't do that. I can't erase the blame I have inside for staying and exposing my kids to hitting, name calling, and way too many other types of abuse and belittling to mention. When my kids act up, the voice in my head says, "I wrecked my kids."
I can't move forward until I work through the guilt, shame and blame... It's tough.
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