I have been seeing a Social Worker now for 6 months. 1 week ago she gently informed me that I am still emotionally married to D. That made me angry... then it all made sense. So, in the past week, I have emotionally separated from D - this is a VERY good thing. I would find myself obsessing about what he says, does, and mostly, what he thinks about me. After finding my self worth and feelings in him for 12 years, it is difficult to turn from him and look to myself and God for who I am, what I feel and how I act. I would get so angry about things that he did, or didn't do, and I would drive myself crazy. Well, NOT ANY MORE.
I am proud to say that I am now almost totally separated from D.
I say 'almost' because I am sure there will be days and times that old feelings arise and I have to deal with them. But, for the most part, I don't give a rip what he does and doesn't do, and what he does and doesn't think about me and what I do or don't do.
Our 2nd settlement conference happened last week. D didn't show up. He "forgot". That worked to my benefit. The Judge says she is not convinced that he is interested in settling this (the custody thing) so we are going to head for trial. She was not impressed at all that D hasn't given over the car to us. I think she is seeing him for what he actually is.
D has told many lies about me in the past 6 months. But, I refused to stoop to his level. I would not lie about anything. I knew that as long as I told the truth, and stuck to the truth, that it would win out in the end. And, I saw a glimmer of that happen last week, and that gave me hope.
The icing on the cake was that D has to pay my gas money for going there because he didn't show up. That is $50.00 back in my pocket. Praise God!
The kids are doing well. Each day gets quieter and we are getting along more and learning more and more every day about how to properly deal with and love each other. It really is a beautiful sight to see the huge changes that occured in our home and lives in the past 1/2 year. God is good.
I will admit that Christmas is going to be different this year. It's the first Christmas with D gone. My parents are also going away for the holidays, which means we will be doing things on our own and making new traditions, if we think the ones we have now need to be changed.
I am so excited to have my kids home with me for 16 days... I am voting for this to be the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!
I am proud to say that I am now almost totally separated from D.
I say 'almost' because I am sure there will be days and times that old feelings arise and I have to deal with them. But, for the most part, I don't give a rip what he does and doesn't do, and what he does and doesn't think about me and what I do or don't do.
Our 2nd settlement conference happened last week. D didn't show up. He "forgot". That worked to my benefit. The Judge says she is not convinced that he is interested in settling this (the custody thing) so we are going to head for trial. She was not impressed at all that D hasn't given over the car to us. I think she is seeing him for what he actually is.
D has told many lies about me in the past 6 months. But, I refused to stoop to his level. I would not lie about anything. I knew that as long as I told the truth, and stuck to the truth, that it would win out in the end. And, I saw a glimmer of that happen last week, and that gave me hope.
The icing on the cake was that D has to pay my gas money for going there because he didn't show up. That is $50.00 back in my pocket. Praise God!
The kids are doing well. Each day gets quieter and we are getting along more and learning more and more every day about how to properly deal with and love each other. It really is a beautiful sight to see the huge changes that occured in our home and lives in the past 1/2 year. God is good.
I will admit that Christmas is going to be different this year. It's the first Christmas with D gone. My parents are also going away for the holidays, which means we will be doing things on our own and making new traditions, if we think the ones we have now need to be changed.
I am so excited to have my kids home with me for 16 days... I am voting for this to be the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!
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